about me

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Not this year....!


outside the rain is now falling gently,
the town is quiet,
the dogs are curled tightly  against the chill
of this extraordinary summer
and the house is murmuring, as old houses do,
in the silence of the night



Tonight is not a night for sleeping
it is a night for remembering



                                                 Grandfather and Granddaughter 

It is for remembering
all the
big and little things that made up my life with Top
the love
for each other...for the children...the grandchildren
and the dogs!
the sharing
the wonderful dreams
the laughter, the tears
the bad jokes
the good jokes
the singing
 the worry about the children,
 the joy of the children
the spirited arguments
(that I nearly always lost!)
the superb meals
 (that I did not cook)
the constant relocations
(good and bad!)

All the little and big things that make living together for 40 years so worthwhile

it's now

AUSTRALIA DAY

and it is his birthday
the first in 41 years that we will not be together

I think I might just give it a miss today


You have a wonderful family day

27 comments:

  1. Enjoy visiting your blog - happy Australia Day!

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  2. And who in their right mind would blame you for that. Your heart must feel very heavy today. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this while the rest of the place goes on about it's birthday business with such colour and movement. You curl up in that pink chair and be kind to yourself. I'll be thinking of you as I know so many others will also be doing. You are a wonderful person and a pleasure in our lives. I hope you know that. Much love xx

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    1. Top MC'd the Australia Day festivities here for some years and we always had a croquet game and barbecue afterwards. It was such a BIG day that it leaves a very big hole!! Thank you for all your kindnesses xxx

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  3. Anniveraries are always so difficult Jules, especially the first. You are absolutely allowed to opt out, it's early days & you just need to do what feels right for you. What a gorgeous pic of your boy & his darling girl!
    Millie xx

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    1. That was Grandparents day...isn't it just beautiful. xx

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  4. Goodness, a tough day but so many lovely memories. Thinking of you, Ann x

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    1. Australia Day has always been such a BIG day for us though strangely it was never about Top's birthday. He hated being reminded that he actually had an age!!!!!! xxx

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  5. I think you're justified in taking the whole day off to do as you please - remember as much as you want - talk about your beloved - close your eyes and recall all the good times.
    Thinking of you on this difficult tday..

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    Replies
    1. Last night and today the memories have rolled in...for the first time I have let them! xx

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  6. Dearest Julienne,

    You have reached a mile stone; a first difficult hurdle in your life. This is a stage that no one gets to practice and prepare for well enough. But it comes over us and swallows us; soul and all.
    So glad you made it this far and you just reminisce on the fondest memories you can think of. Life is after all BUT a memory... We live them, we create them and than we dwell on them.
    A tight hug to you and love,

    Mariette

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    Replies
    1. Mariette that is so true so today I dwelled!! xx

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  7. This Australia Day will be a hard one for you Julienne. Thinking of you and hoping that the next one will be better for you. I do so enjoy your new pink blog. XXX

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    Replies
    1. I am thrilled you are enjoying it, heavens knows where it is going to go because I certainly don't!!!! I guess we are all along for the ride! xxx

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  8. Oh Julienne. I really feel for you today, Lovely. It's been another first for us today as well. Sending you a huge Hobart ♥. J x

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    1. I thought of you today and how you to are missing a family member this year. It's hard my kids are not finding it easy either.
      big hugs xxx

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  9. jules...
    i will be thinking of you all day today.
    bug hugs and a x.
    i wish i were there.

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    Replies
    1. Renee, I know that! I do know, that if it were possible, you would be here with me huge hugs and love Jules xxx

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  10. Oh Julienne, My heart is full for you. It's bursting. I am thinking of you. You are so strong and so brave. A-M xx

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    1. Thank you A-M. I'm not, but one has to keep up the pretence or we would climb into bed and just never get out!

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  11. Remembering hurts . . . and heals. You express your joys and sorrows so beautifully. Blessing to you, dear Julienne.

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    1. Vicki, the computer just loves your comment, as do I, it keeps printing it on the page!!!!
      Which is why I have removed the following comment...it was actually there 3 times!!!!!

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  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  13. Oh Jules, I am so sorry, you poetry is so poignant! You are in my thoughts!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Karena....I love that you read it as poetry...maybe my writing is a little better than I thought!!!!!!
      In case you are not aware I use exclamation marks as giggles,(a few)
      laughter ( a lot) great big belly laugh (a full line!!!!!!!!

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  14. I'm so sad that I missed your blog on this poignant day - and the significance of it. I hope it wasn't too awful. I'm quite certain he would have been there, even in spirit. Keep breathing, my friend. Keep breathing. It will get better. J xx

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  15. Janelle, you move on from the posts you put out here and then suddenly someone comes along and pulls you back. I needed to come back here tonight so thank you xx

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